Understanding Your Feelings: Love vs Attraction
Navigating the labyrinth of emotions can be quite a challenge. Especially when it comes to differentiating between love and attraction in a relationship. Let’s dive in and try to understand these two complex feelings.
Love, as we know it, is a deep affection that goes beyond the physical. It’s about caring for someone else’s happiness as much as your own. Love has many forms – it could be platonic, romantic or familial. In your case, you might find that you love your girlfriend because of her personality traits, shared experiences or emotional connection.
Attraction on the other hand is predominantly driven by physical characteristics or sexual desire. It’s an instinctive pull towards someone often fueled by their appearance or charisma. A study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior found that people often confuse sexual desire with love because both evoke similar intense feelings.
But here’s where it gets tricky: while most relationships start off with attraction leading to love, not all do. And that’s okay! You might not feel physically attracted to your girlfriend but still deeply care for her – this suggests you have a strong emotional bond which is just as important if not more so than physical attraction.
In fact, according to Psychologist Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love, an ideal romantic relationship encompasses three components: intimacy (emotional closeness), passion (sexual attraction) and commitment (decision to stay together). While passion can certainly spice up a relationship, it isn’t always essential for maintaining one.
I’m Not Attracted to My Girlfriend But I Love Her
It’s a complex situation, isn’t it? Loving your girlfriend deeply, yet not feeling that spark of physical attraction. Before we dive into the reasons, let’s remember that human feelings aren’t always straightforward. They’re often messy and contradictory. But don’t worry, we’re here to help you navigate this emotional minefield.
The first reason could be related to familiarity. We’ve all heard the old saying “familiarity breeds contempt”, right? Well, it doesn’t have to breed actual contempt in this case – but over time, we can become so used to someone’s looks that they no longer excite us as they once did. This is common in long-term relationships and doesn’t necessarily mean your love is fading.
Another possibility could be stress or burnout – yes, your work-life balance can impact your romantic life too! When you’re under constant pressure or dealing with overwhelming responsibilities at work or home, it’s easy for physical attraction to take a backseat. You might find yourself more focused on relaxation than romance during any free time you get.
Your mental health also plays a significant role in how attracted you feel towards others. If you’re dealing with issues like depression or anxiety, these conditions can dampen your overall ability to feel attracted to anyone – even someone you love dearly.
Let’s talk about something we often overlook: our changing tastes. As we grow and evolve as individuals, what we find attractive can change too. So if you’ve realized that some characteristics which initially drew you towards your girlfriend don’t seem appealing anymore – there’s nothing wrong with that!
Also note that fluctuating levels of attraction are natural and normal across the span of any long-term relationship – it doesn’t necessarily indicate a problem. What’s important is open, honest communication with your partner, and seeking professional help if needed – because love goes beyond physical appearance.
Remember though; physical attraction isn’t everything in a relationship; there are many other factors like emotional connection and compatibility that contribute significantly towards enduring love.
